Sunday, March 13, 2011


Why it is only a three letter word but something that is always on my mind and I think something that will always haunt me.

Why did this happen

Why did this happen to me

Why did this happen to us

why why why.

LIFE is not fair and I want to know why

I don't think I will ever know WHY.

Sean asked me the other day why I was so sad still, I told him mommy is going to be sad for awhile I really miss your baby sister. Sean then asked why did Kiera leave us, why did she die? I want her back so I can play with her.

So someone please tell me WHY this happened to us please.

Sean wants to know why I won't put another baby in my tummy, I said mommy and daddy are not ready to do that yet and he asks but why.

Why why why............................


  1. I wish I could hug you! I'm so sorry! Please know that not a day goes by when I don't think of you and your precious little girl. I'll pray for both of you. :(

  2. You are always in my prayers Erin. Your beautiful baby girl is thought about every day. I wish there was something I could do to take away your sadness and pain. Know that you are thoughts and prayers always.
    Love, Kim

  3. Dear Erin,

    I found your blog while looking up perinatal strokes as I'm pretty sure that's what happened to my daughter sometime around her birth. Then I learned of your darling daughter, Kiera. I lost my first born at 37 weeks gestation and understand what devastation feels like. I have a clotting disorder which most likely led to both. Life isn't fair, huh? Sometimes it can be downright cruel. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone (as I'm sure you know) but in fact are surrounded by a quiet sorority of women who can't help but love you even though they don't know you. I remember that it took a full two years after the loss of my son before I actually felt anything like true happiness again and still can break down into fits of sobbing even after almost 7 years-- just know that it does get better even though we are likely forever changed. I wish you the best and hope that our babies are good friends in heaven. One more thing, I know that what you went through is different and I can't fully understand, still though, I wanted to reach out.


  4. Hi there,

    I came across your blog when I was looking for a picture to commemorate my angel baby. I have felt, and can identify with, every single thing you wrote about in this blog. I have asked the same questions, blamed myself, blamed the ob-gyn who did this to me. But, in the end, the best advice I can give you is to look towards the future. One counsellor told me a valuable piece of advice - to remain angry and sad is to harm ourselves. I hope you are doing better now.